Drawing Near to God

Drawing Near to God

I have so many questions in my head that I need answers to.

Have any of you ever wondered if depression is something that some of us go through on purpose? Like it was created just to connect some of us or used to help some of us reach out for help. I mean, I’m just wondering what’s the bigger picture behind it all. Is there a higher purpose? 


Well for me, I experienced a time in my life that I just didn’t feel like myself anymore. My tolerance for people and their behavior just started to bug me more and more as the years passed. A part of me feels validated for feeling this way because some people really have a way of pushing you to your limits. However, there is this other side of me that wanted to grab that person with love and compassion and try to understand why they would do some of the things they do. We all have that ability to get under someone’s skin from time to time so I definitely can’t hold anything against anyone. However, I went through times when I wanted to completely isolate myself from the world and crawl under a rock.

 During this time, I started to see a therapist. It’s so amazing how people can see so much in you that you can’t even see in yourself. When I spoke to her about these feelings she said these words to me, “Conniea, crawling under a rock and isolating yourself may be ok for some people, but you were created to give back to people in the same way I am giving to you.” Now mind you, at the time I had absolutely no intentions on pursuing a degree in Counseling or getting certified in Life Coaching, so I asked her what did she mean? She said to me, “With your personality and the love you have for people and your unique ability to make a person feel warm and welcomed within your first encounter with them, is something you can’t take for granted because the world needs you.”

 Guys, my mouth was wide opened because out of all the times I’ve heard others say similar things to me, I have never had it broken down in that way. Especially during a time when I absolutely didn’t want to hear it, but indeed it was necessary. Here I am trying to take a break from being “Miss Dependable”, and here she goes, basically telling me to take my break, but not to make it an extended vacation(in so many words). She encouraged me to take my breather and get back into the role that I am meant to be in. 

 My  moment of truth. I took her advice, but I didn’t at the same time. See we were both spiritual but we never got too deep into the Bible or anything. This was honestly the closest we ever got so she couldn’t tell me the things that I know now today. What I’ve learned in just this short period of time is that without giving God his quality time and spending time getting to know him and what he desires from each of us, there is no way I can overcome anything to my fullest potential. Yes, I had great days during this time, but when it was over I felt empty all over again. I was constantly searching for more and more of what I thought I needed to make me feel like myself again.

 The whole time the answer was right in front of me. I had been telling God for years that I would give him more time and do more of what I know I should be doing. I kept asking for more time and more time to get it right and because he kept sparing my life day after day, year after year. I kept thinking I was getting away scot free, but I was wrong. 

 It wasn’t until this year of 2020 that I am finally starting to feel renewed again. I finally started to take my renewed relationship with God seriously, and in return he has blessed my life in so many ways. I’m not even feeling like myself again because I’m experiencing a feeling that I have never felt before. It’s like I’m a version of my fun, energetic, goofy, outspoken self, but with a special twist that only God can provide. I know I  still have a lot more room to grow, but I am here to tell you that it is possible. 

 Depending on your strength alone can be impossible, but when you truly start relying on God for your strength and direction he will provide all of your needs. Whether it’s bringing the right people in the right circumstances, or even just keeping you alive to fight another day for the time being, there is always purpose in your pain. 

 I would strongly encourage anyone to try it God way and watch how your life just starts to transform. If you’re saying “Lord I’m trying it your way and I still don’t see anything happening,” remember that just because his response is  delayed, it doesn’t mean it’s denied. I believe God wants us all to continue to grow in our lives and in our spirituality so if it isn’t working your way, draw near to God and try it his way. Stay encouraged everyone. 

 We are in this together!!!


~Conniea P

My name is Conniea Perry also known as Conniea P. I am a Woman of God, a devoted wife and mother, a life blogger, freelance content writer and author, Manager at a Counseling Service, and a Certified Life Coach. Each role that I play is a continuous learning experience. I know that I don’t get it right every day, but I am always open to learn and grow. My purpose in life is to help others show more compassion and work more on themselves so much to the point that they don’t have time to focus on the flaws of others because they will be too busy working on them. Speaking Life with Conniea P was created to be an expression of love where each of us are allowed an opportunity to grow and not expected to be perfect. We are so critical of one another in judgment instead of taking the opportunity to help build each other up. My goal is to start a movement of having more compassion, love, and understanding shown towards one another.

Website: www.slwithcp.com

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